


Take One Down, Pass It Around....

by underground_archivist



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2020-07-30 12:42:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20097403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underground_archivist/pseuds/underground_archivist
Summary: And the moral of the story is:  Don't mess with Teenage girls when they're hungry, angry, lonely, tired, and PMSing.  (anybody else know that whole H.A.L.T. system?)Disclaimer: I got's no claims, I gots no rights, Sarah and the labyrinth, Mr. Goblin King, and all his Goblins- They be not mine I say!  All that is mine is this silly idea for a story.  All else belongs to their respective big wig owners, and that awesome trifecta of Henson/Bowie/Froud.  But that we could have that again.  Sigh.





	Take One Down, Pass It Around....

**Author's Note:**

> Note from banshee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Underground](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Underground_\(Labyrinth_archive\)) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Underground’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/underground/profile).
> 
> I have another story I'm still working on, but I need to purge this idea first. It just won't go away. And I think it's funny and has potential.... crosses fingers, holds breath. Here goes nutthin. 
> 
> Rating is for language-At The Moment (originally I wrote ATM as a short cut for 'at the moment,' then I remembered what Porn thinks ATM stands for, and no, none of that in my fiction, thank you very much. I will never understand that one....

Only one month after defeating the labyrinth, and supposedly maturing from the experience. Yeah, well. One supposes that means she now acts her age instead of like a 12 year old. She *had* mustered up the nerve to tell that drama class boy she liked him. Too bad he said she was too "Uni-Corny" for him. Then her last class was the Mega-Test she'd lost half her week's quota of sleep studying for. She was most definitely dissappointed in her performance there-certain she'd bombed it (although she would later find out she got 95%-silly girl). So she stormed home without stopping by the park. She gave it a mournful look as she passed but she was in a stubborn mood to wallow in her misery. Hungry from skipping lunch for further study. Angry at that stupid boy. Lonely, because her Goblin friends had suddenly stopped coming when she called. Tired from all that studying. Sarah, a teen on the brink. The brink of a Hiroshima style explosion. Especially since her evil menstrual cycle was due anytime...

She arrives home to her parents hurriedly getting ready for... something. Something that became incresingly more appernt that she had not been told about and she stood they while they ran around like chickens with their heads cut off.

"What's going on?!" She asked warily. She was not going to like the answer and she knew it.

"We're leaving for the weekend, Sarah, you know that."

The hell she did. She would remember if they'd told her something like that. She would not have tried to ask out that jerk in drama if she'd known she was babysitting the ENTIRE weekend! God, the humilty she could have been saved! Not to mention, hello(!), stuck at home when she finally got that stupid test out of the way. This was supposed to be a relaxing break for her! What the HELL!

She was, in fact, about to protest these things, scream at them, say it 'wasn't fair' and go all postal on them, but then she felt a certain someting-not good.

"Sarah, where are you going, we need to go over some things!" her father was obviously in a manic hurry.

"I have to go to the bathroom, NOW!"-she didn't even look back as she dashed for her upstairs bathroom.

"Well, we'll just leave some instructions here on the counter then, and the number we can be reached at. If you have any problems, Mrs. K next door knows the situation, we have to go now Sarah!" he called out loud enough for her to hear, and they left before she could voice any of her protestations. Not that it mattered, she HAD matured at least enough to know when she'd lost a battle.

She did, however, still feel pretty rebellious about the whole thing, esp after confirmation of "The Red Tide," as her step-mother called it. That lady was weird.

So when she finished wringing out her favorite and only white guess jeans (hey it's the 80's), she remembered something. The previous week she'd stumbled upon her parents secret booze stash! Well, hell. She deserved to let loose a little. She had the decency to wait until Toby was down for the night. She wasn't a monster after all. No, not her. Although Toby *almost* became one...

Which got her, of course, thinking about the labyrinth. Rather nostalgicly, in the manner of a happy, but slightly weepy drunk. 

In her First-Time-Drunk haze, she came up with a "brilliant" plan.

She said her "right words" again.

She could feel the moment Toby was taken, and then a rather confused looking Goblin King burst through the windows again.

He looked just as good as she remembered, maybe better ("beer goggles?"). She sighed and didn't hear what he was saying for a minute.

"Sarah!? Are you listening to me? What is wrong with you? I'm trying to... Ack! Did you bathe in a distillery, girl? Why have you asked my Goblins to take your brother again!?"

Sarah smiled at him and tried-half successfully- to strike an alluring pose. "I can do what I want, no one ever said I couldn't do it again, let me run the labyrinth! I'll take you on again, I'll win again, and I'll see my friends again!" she got a little heated by the end there, standing with her fists clenched, breathing a tad heavily....

"Oh, Sarah. Fine. I will let you run the labyrinth, but you and I will have a talk afterwards... once you've sobered up..." he said, then muttered under his breath, "I'll have to set the difficulty to '10 year old' so she doesn't get herself killed..." but she didn't seem to notice.

Jareth poofs himself away in a cloud of glitter, and Sarah finds herself....chasing after a rabbit? When did THAT happen. She went with it. Drunkenly.  
She lost sight of the rabbit, but came across her old aquaintence the Worm. The little punk rock worm was hanging out on a mushroom this time, smoking a hookah, which seemed familiar, but wrong. He still acted like himself though.  
"Ello! Nice to see ya 'gain, miss! Would you like a cuppa? Maybe a little mushroom, to come meet the Missus?"  
"Hello little worm!" she swayed a little as she addressed him. He sure looked overly warm with that scarf on. "I'd love to meet your wife sometime, but I really gotta get to that stupid castle to get my brother again, have you seen my other friends? Uh, Hoggle, short, grumpy guy, then there's Ludo, he's like a red horned Yeti, and uh, Sir Diddy-uhm-mus, er whatever, and his, hehe, "steed," Ambrosh.. Ambrosious, something like that... I need them to help me find my way."  
"Oh, you don't need them! The way to the Castle's right over there!"  
"WHAT?! When did *that* happen?!"  
The worm looks confused, then, "Well it's *always* been there, you just have to go right, rather than left, didn't I tell you that last time?"  
"The hell you DID! I could have shaved 12 hours off my time! If you ... if you were my size.... I'd.. I'd STR-ANGLE YOU!" Sarah lets out a frustrated screech, he hand held in angry 'claws.' Then she turns in rage, and take the shortcut to the castle.  
"Well!" said the worm, "see if I help *you* next time, you silly twat. The Goblins have your idiot friends, but *I* won't be the one to tell you that now, will I..." he muttered after she had left.


End file.
